Tuesday, May 01, 2007

To whom it may concern...

Dear First-Grader in my Sunday School Class,
I know you kids are all about the honesty. I'm down with that. But please don't ever tell me "You need to get married soon so you can still have babies." That one sentence from you made my fallopian tubes shrivel up from the hopelessness. It ain't cool kid. Ain't cool.

Love,
Your Old Maid Sunday School Teacher

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Dear Neighbor in #1235,
You seem like a nice guy. Honest. You were even friendly to me one day when I wasn't wearing any make-up. I respect that. But really...do you have to whistle every morning when you leave your apartment? I know, I'm cranky in the morning. And I appreciate that your whistling is the only sound I ever hear from you. Come on, though. Who can be that cheery in the morning.

Sincerely,
Your Cranky Pants Neighbor in #1236

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Dear Pastor,
I like you. I think you have great sermons. But can't you use one metaphor that doesn't relate to families? I'm not a parent, wife or grandmother. I can't relate to raising children. I can't understand what it's like to fight with my spouse. Could you please, please stop reminding me of the fact that I'm single. Just talk to the First Grader in my Sunday School Class-she knows the drill.

Pouting in the Pew

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Dear Hairdresser Lady,
When someone comes to you and says "Do whatever you want with my hair...absolutely whatever," do not give them a bob. A bob is the antithesis of a stylish haircut. My friend in high school who had never cut hair in her life could even give me a decent bob. I want to be cool. I want to be stylish. I do not want a haircut that has the same boring name as half the middle-age men in the world.

Bobbed in Colorado

6 Comments:

Blogger SandT said...

Okay, I just had to comment here. I absolutely laughed out loud at the first one. However, the last one gave me pause. I just recently got a haircut so that it could be a ... bob. I guess now I need to shave my head and start over.

7:41 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Okay this is Mark since I cant leave my name on here.....I also am getting Alzheimers, mine is just the 26 year old version. Also I feel you on the whole babies thing but at another level since you know I'm a man. Thanks for being Brandy and I hope your day has been wonderful

3:36 PM  
Blogger mandy said...

Okay, that was hilarious. First graders are so brutally honest it makes you want to lock them into a room until they're a little older! And I'm with you on the bob. :) I hope you're having a great day!

6:34 PM  
Blogger mandy said...

OK, hilarious! First grader. . .so NOT cool! And I love how everyone in the world from little children to grandmas feel they have the right to discuss the fact that you're not married/having kids. IT's GREAT!(And I'm with you on the bob. I'm trying to grow my current cut out a little so I can get the next one and it's driving me CRAZY!)

6:36 PM  
Blogger greta lynn hernandez said...

Have you seen the book "Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye?" It's an absolutely wonderful book. I have some say here since I was almost a whole decade older than you and still not married! :) Seriously, it's a good read.

Remember, little sister, your worth is found in Christ and in Him alone. Embrace Him in all your seasons of life--especially in this one!

I know the whole "when-you're-married-your-attentions-are divided" speech (first given to us by Paul) can get old when you're longing to be married, but it's so true. Take every opportunity to know Christ more intimately now, and I assure you that when the day comes to walk down the aisle, you'll be glad you did. :)

Love you Brandy Campbell!

--g--

2:55 PM  
Blogger Becky said...

Oh man I almost spit my drink out when I read the first letter. :)

Don't worry - I just read an article about a 70-something year old woman in Europe who had a kid. So you (and I) have lots of time!

11:51 AM  

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