Thursday, November 17, 2005

Jello Thighs vs. God's Creation

I hate exercising. I hate almost everything about it. I hate getting all gross and sweaty. I hate that my legs feel like Jello when I'm done. I hate running for miles without ever actually moving from one spot. I hate exercising.

So yesterday I was working out in the school's gym. All these skinny, toned people surrounded me, sprinting at speeds that would have shot me off the back of the treadmill and through the wall. And I could not stop comparing myself to them. The way they looked, the way they ran, everything. And the more I compared, the worse I felt about myself.

But as I continued to walk, pushing through the pain in my side and willing my legs to keep moving, I realized that I don't just compare myself to people at the gym. I compare myself to others at work, at church, and social gatherings. I compare myself to my friends, my family, and perfect strangers. And I never measure up.

I wish I was more confident. Why is it that I can see the good in others, but rarely in myself? How can I believe that I am God's creation while obsessing about how big my thighs are? Where is the line between being humble and being self-depreciating? Because I've been commanded to love others as I love myself...and I'm having a hard time loving myself.


Blogger juju said...

ok, then as your friend, know that you are loved and beautiful. go read Ps 45 and know how your Lord sees you. And then go read the book Captivating by Stasi Eldrige and find out how Jesus woos you...and bask in the glory of Christ and know you reflect Him to others...
sorry you are having a bad day. love, Ju

5:32 AM  

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