Tuesday, July 25, 2006

A Life that I Do Not Own

So, I was driving home tonight when the song "The Door" by Jill Phillips began to play. If you're not familiar with Jill, I would highly recommend that you check her out. I'm not going to post all of the lyrics (you can get them here), there was one verse that literally made me pull over because I couldn't see through the tears:
I come to you with a life that I do not own
I come to you with a life that I do not own
The door to your kingdom is grace
And you gave your own life away
That the door will be opened...

I've been dealing with a lot of stress lately...family issues, job pressure, and just the general stresses of moving, meeting new people, etc. And it's been hard. Sitting in my apartment alone and crying a LOT hard. And you know, sometimes it sucks, and I just want everything to be okay. I want God to swoop down and just fix it. Because I don't want to mess with it. I don't want to hurt anymore.

But listening to those words tonight, I realized that I DON'T own my life. Everything I have belongs to God...everything. That includes the pain, and the suffering and the tears and the anger. It's all God's. And the quicker I realize that, the quicker I can begin to heal, and to minister to those in my life who are hurting. When I get all caught up in myself, I forget God's perfect grace...a grace that promises I will never be alone...even when I feel like it.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Brandy,

I've been going through similar experiences the past couple of weeks. Tom and I have moved to Wilmore, KY. I check your blog regularly to see how you are. I've managed to lose your contact information. Know that I think and pray for you often. If you get this comment send me an email at cassandra.fuerst@gmail.com with your phone number so I can give you a call!


11:37 AM  

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