Road Trip!

This was one of those weekends that I really enjoyed being single and not having any real "responsibilities" (i.e. significant other, kids, etc.) Last week my roommate, Sabrina, and I decided, spur of the moment, to go on a road trip. We rented a car, loaded up the trunk, grabbed a pile of CDs, and hit the road at 5 a.m. Saturday morning.

After 5 hours (and some pretty terrible singing along to "Seven Brides for Seven Brothers" on my part and a near brush with an empty tank of gas) we arrived in the Chicago area where I was going to meet up with Gretchen, a friend from high school. Gretchen and her husband are preparing to move overseas in a week or so, so she was actually the inspiration for the trip. We had a great brunch and time to just hang out and catch up. We've lived five hours apart for three years, but this was the first time we had gotten together except a brief visit in VA last summer. It was great fun, and I'm glad it worked out! Here's a pic from the afternoon:














After a few hours in Chicago, we got back in the car to head to Milwaukee. Sabrina's parents live there, so since it was only a few hours from Gretchen, we decided to surprise them. After five hours, what's two more?

When we got into town, we had to spend some time hanging out and waiting for Sabrina's parents to get home. We got kind of bored, so these pictures resulted:






























When Sabrina's parents got home we had a great time surprising them, then going out for a yummy steak dinner. Heck yeah I'll drive seven hours for a free meal! Sunday we got up and I had a 90-minute tour of Milwaukee. It was frigid, but lots of fun.

Last Holiday

Last weekend I went with some friends to the movies, where we saw "Last Holiday." I'll admit, I really wasn't that excited about the movie. The previews looked relatively humorous, but nothing that I was dying to go see. Therefore, my expectations were quite low.

Maybe that's why I enjoyed it so much. Because I hadn't been told by all of my friends how great it was. And I hadn't read a series of reviews that raved or panned it. I could go in fresh, with no preconceived notions.

But the real reason I think I loved it is because the main character, Georgia (played by Queen Latifah) was a black, inner-city version of me. She was shy, socially awkward (especially around the guy she liked), a homebody who like to cook for other people but was content with her Lean Cuisines. I'm telling you, she was me.

And when she recieved word from her doctor that she had weeks to live, she reacted just like I would: "Why, God?" There was one particular scene, just after the diagnosis, where Georgia was singing in her church choir. And she just starts to sing, in that black choir way, "Why, God? Why is this happening to me? Why?" And though the scene was played comedically (with lots of dancing in the aisles, etc.), it made me cry. My friends were laughing at the comedy, while I was crying at the reality. Because I've done that.

No, I've never manifest my uncertainties with God in the choir in front of my church, but I've cried those same words to God.

"God, why is this happening?"
"Why did you take him away?"
"God, can't you make it stop?"
"Why does it hurt so bad?"
"Why, God?"

And after crying out to God, Georgia decided to live the rest of her life. To take advantage of all of those dreams that she had stuffed into a "Possibilities" book and make it reality. And as I watched the story unfold, I kept thinking that's what I need to do. Not necessarily as dramatically as she did, but the same concept. What things do I want to do, even feel called to do, that I keep putting on the back burner.

I want to make my possibilities realities.

This is for you, Beth!

I know Christmas was almost a month ago, but I've only been back for a little more than a week, so I'm just now getting around to posting some pics from the holidays. Enjoy!










My good friend Clara Jo and me. We have lots of fun high school memories (ha!)









Jodi and me. Again, a great high school friend. She also has an adorable house now. Jodi's all grown up!










This is my friend Jan. Jan worked at a camp that I was both a camper and a counselor at. She's definitely one of the sweetest people I know!










This is Shaaron, another camp friend. I live vicariously through Shaaron's travels, but constantly remind her that her childhood took place "before my time."










Aww, it's my mom! Can't you tell how much she LOVES having her picture taken!










And last, but certainly not least, Beth. My faithful blog reader!

Brandy's 1st Annual Music Top Fives

I totally stole this from my friend Mandy, so I hope she doesn't mind! We also have a lot of the same answers, but that's because we have equally good taste in music!

Top 5 Albums I listen to over and over:
1. Randall Goodgame, War and Peace
2. Andrew Peterson, The Far Country
3. Andy Gullahorn, Room to Breathe
4. Andrew Peterson, Behold the Lamb of God
5. Jill Phillips, God and Money

Top 5 songs that always make me smile:
1. "Holy Flakes," Andy Gullahorn, Room to Breathe
2. "Green Hills Mall," Andy Gullahorn, Room to Breathe
3. "The Pope is a Lady," Randall Goodgame, War and Peace
4. "Matthew's Begats," Andrew Peterson, Behold the Lamb of God
5. "Fifth Wheel," Justin McRoberts, Reason for Living

Top 5 sad songs I like for some reason:
1. "She's Gone Forever" by Randall Goodgame on War and Peace
2. "Three Days B efore Autumn" by Andrew Peterson (this isn't actually on an Andrew Peterson album, but I think it's on some compilation projects)
3. "Whiskey Lullaby" by Brad Paisley and Allison Krauss from Mud on the Tires
4. "Faith to Be Strong" by Andrew Petesron on Carried Away (I wouldn't say this song is really sad, but it brings back sad memories)
5. "He Stopped Loving Her Today" by George Jones (it's an oldie but a, er, saddie?)

Top 5 songs that always convict me:
1. Andrew Peterson "Silence of God" from Love and Thunder
2. Shane & Shane "I Miss You" from Upstairs
3. Randall Goodgame "I Did Not Catch Her Name" from War and Peace
4. Andy Gullahron "Give Me Grace" from Room to Breathe
5. Andrew Peterson "More" from The Far Country

Top 5 albums I'm proud to own:
1. Andrew Peterson--all of them: Carried Along, Clear to Venus, Love and Thunder, Behold the Lamb of God, and The Far Country
2. Patty Griffin 1000 Kisses
3. Jill Phillips God and Money
4. Randall Goodgame War and Peace, The Hymnal, and Arkadelphia
5. David Wilcox Home Again

Top 5 albums I'm embarrassed to have purchased:
1. Anything Celine Dion
2. Carman's Greatest Hits (I did give it away though!)
3. My Jami Smith Collection (I still like her, but I think I went a little overboard)
4. Garth Brook's Greatest Hits (the first one--I spent way too much money on it)
5. I know there are more, but since I never listen to them (thankfully) I can't think of them!

Artists I didn't really like at first, but then they grew on me:
1. Eric Peters (he's GREAT, but it took me several listens to get into)
2. Pierce Pettis (I still don't LOVE his voice, but his songwriting is amazing)
3. Andy Gullahorn (His first CD grew on me enough to buy his second, which I LOVE)
4. Aimee Mann
5. Anything country

Artists I think everyone needs to check out:
1. Jill Phillips
2. Andrew Peterson
3. Randall Goodgame (one of the best songwriters I've ever heard!)
4. Andy Gullahorn
5. Eric Peters
6. Justin McRoberts
7. Patty Griffin
8. Andy Osenga (formerly of the Normals, now tours with Caedmon's Call)
9. Matthew Perryman Jones
10. Silers Bald

Albums I'm buying next:
1. Rebel, Sweetheart The Wallflowers
2. Brother, Bring the Sun and Chasing Mississippi Dave Barnes
3. Heavier Things and The John Mayer Trio John Mayer
4. Back to Me Kathleen Edwards
5. Let There Be Morning The Perishers

Searching for Donkeys

January 7, 2006

1 Samuel 9

It amazes me that God used a few lost donkeys to orchestrate the anointing of Saul as the king of Israel. I can imagine how annoyed Saul must have felt, trekking across the countryside, searching for livestock. But he didn’t know, couldn’t possibly understand, that God had a plan. How often am I annoyed at the daily inconveniences of life—and how often is God blessing me through those inconveniences?

Happy Freakin' Birthday

January 4, 2006

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. I was not supposed to spend my 26th birthday alone, in airports and on planes. But after 3 days, 12 hours in the Roanoke airport, a lonely night in a hotel, I am finally on a plane, bound for St. Louis. Instead of a birthday party, I’ve thrown myself a pity party, complete with tears and a meltdown. I keep trying to tell myself it’s not that bad. In the whole scheme of life this isn’t a huge deal. But I can’t quite communicate that to my emotions.

A Time to Mourn

December 31, 2005

Today I visited Dennis’ grave. After nearly four years, I finally mustered up the courage to return to that wind-swept graveyard that holds too many memories.

I drove straight to his grave, and stepped out onto the dry, brown grass. A Christmas wreath sat atop the headstone that bears his name next to my mother’s. But next to his name there are two dates.

And suddenly, I couldn’t handle it. I stood in the cold and sobbed. And I stomped my feet. And I railed again at the unfairness of it all. The unfairness of a life that ended too soon. The unfairness of our now fragmented family. The unfairness of all of that pain threatening to explode out of my chest. The unfairness of another year without the only man who has ever loved me completely and without condition.

And then, just as quickly as it began, it ended. The sobs stopped, I took a deep, shuddering breath and let the wind dry the tears on my cheeks. I touched the rough gray stone with my cold fingers, then walked back to the car. I didn’t look back. I didn’t need to. Part of my heart was still there.