This is just another blog about the mountains...

(Ten points if you get my title reference!)
I miss the mountains. Growing up, our family vacations always consisted of a drive through the gently rolling Blue Ridge or Smoky Mountains. We would load up the cooler with sandwich fixin's and head out to the parkway, and just drive. We'd pull over at a scenic rest area, sit at a shaded picnic table, and just enjoy the sweeping view of the vistas.

My college was nestled in the mountains. Every morning I would look out of my dorm room and see the slope of the mountain, sometimes blazing with colors, sometimes green and lush, sometimes laden with snow. The best view was when the fog was rolling over the tops of the ridge like wispy lava. It was beautiful.

For seven summers I went to a camp with the most spectacular view of the mountains. The hike was grueling but the second you stumbled through the trees onto a jutting rock, you forgot all about your aching calves and blisters. It would literally bring me to tears each time.

And now, I live in the midwest. It's not so bad, and it's not completely flat, but there are still days when I crave the mountains. Mountains always made me feel safe, like they were blocking out some unforseen danger.

Today when I was driving, out of the corner of my eye, I thought I saw mountains. The clouds were stacked just right, and the setting sun played a trick on my eyes. It felt like God was giving me a tiny gift of mountains right here in Hannibal.

It was nice.

I would like a new model, please.

Ugh. That's how I feel today...just, ugh. From dragging myself out of bed to go to early service this morning, to going through the motions at children's church, to having to mentally argue with myself about not crawling back in bed at 2 in the afternoon, it's just been one of those days.

I can pinpoint a couple of reasons for my "ugh-ness." There's the weather, the lack of exercise, etc. The main reason though is just physically not feeling well. I have some stomach problems that I thought were doing better, but recently they've flared up again, so I've had to go back on medication for it. And this medicine, although it effectively treats my stomach issues, comes with its own problems. I have to be careful not to dehydrate, it gives me headaches and bodyaches, and just a general feeling of, well, ugh. Sometimes I wonder if it's even worth it. Are all of these side effects worth the one thing the medicine treats? I'm still out on that one.

I just hate physically feeling bad, and knowing that every time I pop one of those pills it's going to do all of these things to my body...and if I don't, my body just isn't going to cooperate.

Aren't I too young for all of this?

What does your candy heart say?

Your Candy Heart Says "Hug Me"

A total sweetheart, you always have a lot of love to give out.Your heart is open to where ever love takes you! Your ideal Valentine's Day date: a surprise romantic evening that you've planned out Your flirting style: lots of listening and talking What turns you off: fighting and conflict Why you're hot: you're fearless about falling in love

What Does Your Candy Heart Say?

Wow, it's been a while!

I just realized that February is almost half-way over, and I haven't posted a blog yet! I was doing pretty good for a while there, but I guess I've just slacked lately.

It's actually been a really weird few weeks. On one hand, I've had some great days. Late-night card games, a rounding evening of spoons, cooking dinner for friends, curling up with some good books, hanging out with my roommates. It's been nice.

But this time of year is always clouded with grief. The month of February holds Dennis' birthday and he and Mom's anniversary...and March holds his death. It hangs over my family like a thick fog that we can't fight our way out of...or maybe we're just too tired to try.

I hate this time of year. I hate it because two dates that should be joyful have been stamped out, leaving us only with sadness.

I hate it because I can't handle listening to my mom cry on the phone. I hate it because even now as I type this my chest is tightening. I hate it because it hurts.