Tuesday, November 28, 2006

How do you know?

So, tonight I was lonely. Kind of whiny. Sort of feeling sorry for myself.

When I told a friend how I was feeling, she asked if I was still sure if Colorado was where I was supposed to be. It made me stop for a second and think. How do I know when things are hard because something's wrong...or hard because something's right.

Because things are hard. I love my job, but it's hard. I'm meeting friends, but it's hard. I'm settling in at church, but it's hard. None of it seems easy. Should it?

I feel like I've just been kind of shutting down the past few days. It's easier to go to bed at 8:30 on a Friday night than to focus on the fact that I'm alone at 8:30 on a Friday night. It's easier to stay late at work than to come home to an empty apartment. So why am I not happy when I do things the easy way?

I DO feel like Colorado is where I'm supposed to be. But it certainly isn't an easy place to be. Again, I ask...should it be?


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